Saturday, December 6, 2008

Sex & Marriage

Ok Wifeys lets go there! I've been getting a ton of emails about conversating on some HOT topics. And we are committed to discussing multiple issues that are important. Certainly sex, would be one of those!
Here is the question...Are you Wifeys keeping it spicy in the bedroom? If not, why? If so, how?!


Newbie said...

I am new to blogging. I saw the profile for Spicy Wifey on Myspace and thought it sounded interesting.
I will have to be honest...this is something I need to work on. With the distraction of kids, bills and money in these trouble economic times. We do good to get in a quickie 1 a week or every 2 weeks. Honestly, I do worry sometimes that the lack of intimacy is a sign that we are moving into the direction of "friends" and not a couple. Should I be worried? I'd love to read others thoughts.

Anonymous said...

I think everyone experiences this in a relationship at some point. Like spicy wifey says, you have to keep it spicy. And if a quickie is all you have time for make it count. Newbie is right, sex does help with intimacy and intimacy helps you connect and feel close to your mate. So you have to make it happen. And as long as the issue is lack of time and not the lack of desire to be intimate with you mate. You both still have something to work with. So spice up the quickies. do it somewhere different, try something different with it. Like blind fold your husband. something that adds an new touch, but doesnt take time.

Been There said...

With all the distractions you might have to plan time for you and your hubby. Not scheduling sex, but scheduling time alone for the two of you. We make plans for everything else work, kid’s activities, social organizations etc why don't we do that for our most important relationship? Or just even for ourselves? Maybe if we did schedule some alone time for ourselves we would have the energy and desire to be with our mate? If you have kids when is the last time you were actually alone? I mean time just for you. We all need to push the reset button every now and then. Also give yourself some time to miss your man, give him some time to miss you that will heighten the desire and you will want to find the time to be intimate together. It might even make the sex hotter. Start by sending each other sexy text messages throughout the day that way by the time you both get home the foreplay has started. And you don't have to spend much time getting each other in the mood. Have a glass of wine with dinner or fix yourselves a nightcap, put those babies to bed and then put yourselves to bed. Or get a babysitter that you can take the kids to and then go back home just the two of you or even try a motel for a spicier feel. Good luck and like anonymous said we've all been there the key is just not giving up and resolve yourself to stay there.

Spicy Wifey said...

I never thought about scheduling time with my man. Thats a new approach and it could work, if you are the scheduling kind. Make sure thats a date that you keep! I also like the idea of the "Quality Quickie". If its all you can get in, make it count!

ntm72 said...

My husband recently lost his job and has been depressed and stressed about money. I wish we could feel the freedom we felt when we were dating and free of stress. No kids. We had bill, but we didn't let that spoil our fun, you know. I try to be romantic and intimate with my husband and he is so distracted and uninterested. I wish he could let go a little to still enjoy what we have and ME! I think thats what changes when you get married. You take on more responsibility. Thats why single life seem more attractive to people on the outside looking in. And to couples too at times. There is nothing glamours about bills and kids and cleaning and cooking. I guess I am all over the place with this blog entry. But the topic has made me think about a lot of different aspects of my marriage.

Spicy Wifey said...

I think every wife can relate to ntm72! I can. There is no 1 way to make your marriage work or get through difficulties. If you are a spiritual person, I suggest you pray for you husband! Let God put some work in for you.
I would also suggest you tell your husband that you recognize his efforts and that you appreciate all he is doing. And despite the finacially stress, there is no place you'd rather be and no other person you rather be with. Even in this place & time in your life, he's still your guy! I think his mental will have to improve before the physical will.
But keep trying. Wear some skimpy clothes to clean the bathtub...if you know what I mean.
There is some truth to what you are saying about why single life appears to be more appealing to a lot of people. But being able to relax and not always be "ON" is a luxury in marriage. You don't have to constantly be consumed with making a good impression on someone you are dating or trying to get a date. You can let your hair down be secure in being accepted as you are. Anyone can have a hard time financially. Married or single. Despite your husband feeling a burden of having to support his family. In a marriage, he doesn't have to bear that burden alone! You two are able to share the load, whatever it is. Together you can uplift one another. When you are single, you often go through difficult times all alone. The fact that your husband has a you, his loving wife and family will provide him with the inspiration to go on.
You hang in there! The best is yet to come :)

Anonymous said...

I try...I recently saw a report on CNN asking the question would you rather have the internet or sex and would you believe, most people said the internet. Whats that all about.