Wednesday, July 7, 2010

But don't tell the Bride!

Ok, so I know a group of single gals driving 500 miles to attend a bachelor party of a male friend. The Groom has requested a non-traditional bachelor party - a big weekend bash! Details include beach house rental, boating, DJ, cookout and a mix of ladies & gents! Sounds like Spring Break! His only stipulation is that none of the female attendees know the Bride to Be...makes me want to say hmmm.

As a Wifey, I of course feel some type of way. I have mixed views personally on the whole bachelor/bachelorette party situation anyway. Having one last unrestricted hoo-rah before you enter into the union of marriage is not my cup of tea. But, the concept of having a huge bash to celebrate getting married before your wedding is great! The co-ed component is great too! But the stipulation put on the guest lists is suspicious to me.

I believe each individual couple can make their own rules & define their marriage as they wish. I know women personally that may not have an issue with this type of bachelor party. I question it only because none of the female attendees can KNOW the Bride to Be. Which leads me to suspect that the Bride to Be, doesn't know about the details and her Groom doesn't want her to know. Why, I wonder?

At what point should you conduct yourself like you're married? Is it when you feel like you are ready for marriage and become engaged or is when the deed is official? What are your views on bachelor and bachelorette parties?

Quin, Co-Founder


Anonymous said...

Really having a party before you get married that involves anything you wouldn't do in front of your wife or husband is wrong and so tacky to then stand next to them and pledge all this bull- that you don't mean. Becasue I think if you are able to do all that before you get married, you will do it in the marriage too.

And girls who go to parties like that, know whats going on are trash! How would they feel if they were the bride.

I have a Spicy Wifey said...

This is an intersting topic. I think if the couple is cool with it, they should have parties. But I do agree that once you decide you are ready to get married is when your behavior should change.

The one last hoo-rah as Quin put it, should not take place that late in the game. My wife had a pretty rowdy bachelorette party and I was quite disgusted when she told me the details. Women, like the girls going to the beach party, are the same type of women that probably threw my wifes party, LOL!

But she did tell me prior what was planned and I appreciate her honesty and trusted that she would behave. But not a cool way to start a marriage in my opinion.

Spicy Wifey said...

@ Anonymous, your comment has some punch behind it! I understand where you are coming from though. I operate by the same rule, if its something I wouldn't do in front of my husband, then its inappropriate. Thats our rule.

Now whether or not a person can act a fool at a bachelor party and turn the switch to off the next day at the alter is a question I don't have an answer for, but you make a valid point.

As for the ladies attending...its sad if they do know the Groom has less than honorable intentions and they are willing to participate at the expense of another womans heart. But we don't know that is the case nor are they the ones taking the vows. So I hold him accountable for this one! Thanks for sharing your comments!

Spicy Wifey said...

Oh I forget Mr. "I have a Spicy Wifey" and aren't you a Lucky Man!

The fact that there was communication between you and your wife is key. Again, I think couples should feel free to make their own rules. But in this particular scenario it doesn't appear that that is the case. Its probably safe to conclude she doesn't know the details, and he clearly doesn't want her to find out.

You trust your Wifey and thats a beautiful thing. Trust is an essential virute in marriage! When you begin a union with deception and secrets, you aren't setting the stage for success.

Continue to communicate openly and represent for the married lifestyle!

Quin, Co-Founder