Friday, July 2, 2010

Fireworks in the bedroom!

Sex toys - totally or taboo? Toys can be a way to add fireworks in the bedroom if you and your mate our comfortable and open to it.
So the play on words is a little cheesy I know! But I couldn't resits.

I recently read a column by Dr. Laura Berman and made a visit to her website to further research some of the content and was surprised to find that her website is a like a retail store. You can pay for advice, personalized prescriptions for love & intimacy and TOYS! The site features two catagories for your shopping pleasure! One for novice sex toy users and one for the more advanced.

Some may be uncomfortable with the thought of bringing toys into the marriage bed. For some its almost like bringing in another "person" or outside source of intimacy into your relationship. Your partner may feel inadequate or self conscious and that is certainly NOT good for your intimate relationship. So, its recommended that the two of you discuss it and explore options together. Discuss what each perceives as pros & cons, concerns and apprehensions. Once you establish common ground, then look at it as a fun adventure!

Once a couple decides to take the next step, the issue may be where to shop. Well, if your aren't comfortable going in store to purchase the internet is a private and discreet way to shop. The Dr. Laura site is a great source and you can receive instructions and tips for using your new toys. There are even religious based website addressing the issue and selling products & toys such as The Marriage Bed.

Toys or no toys, Dr. Laura's site can be a valuable resource for your intimate relationship with your spouse. Either way, lets hope there are fireworks in your future!

More About Dr. Laura:
Dr. Laura Berman is a world renowned sex and relationship expert. Considered a thought leader in her field, Dr. Berman is the Host of The Dr. Laura Berman Show on Oprah Radio on XM 156 and Sirius 195 at 5 PM EST as well as a regular guest on The Oprah Winfrey Show and The Dr. Oz Show. She is also an assistant clinical professor of OBGYN and Psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University. In working as a sex educator, researcher and therapist for 20 years, Dr. Berman has helped countless couples achieve success in establishing a secure and stimulating relationship and a heightened level of intimacy.

Dr. Berman is the author of the newly released book, The Book of Love: Every Couple’s Guide to Emotional and Sexual Intimacy. She has also authored the New York Times best-selling books, Real Sex for Real Women: Intimacy, Pleasure, & Sexual Wellbeing and For Women Only: A Revolutionary Guide to Overcoming Sexual Dysfunction and Reclaiming Your Sex Life as well as Secrets of the Sexually Satisfied Woman: 10 Keys to Unlocking Ultimate Pleasure and The Passion Prescription.She is also a weekly columnist for the Chicago Sun Times and has appeared on Fox News and CNN and in The New York Times, USA Today, and every major woman’s magazine.

Quin, Co-Founder


Anonymous said...

I never really talked about toys once I got married with my husband. But before we were married, and yes we had sex before marriage, we tried way more things. Not sure why sex gets boring and we suddenly got shy after marriage. But I think my husband would like it if I surprised him with a few toys. Thanks for the idea Spicy Wifey!

Anonymous said...

It is important to keep it fresh and fun. Sex is a very important part of marriage. I don't think most people realize just how important. Its not just physical. So we should all make the most of it!

When I first got married, I was not sure about the toy thing either. But was surprised that in our marriage conseling at church it was encouraged. Felt weird coming from our church pastor, but sex is a gift from God and more married folks should be comfortable talking about it.

Spicy Wifey said...

Thank you for leaving your comments!

Anonymous 1 - Many couples complain the fireworks fizzle in marriage. Keeping that spark does rquire work. In marriage, you take on responsibilities and obligations that can preoccupy your time and your mind. As result, you have to make time and the effort to be attentive to your intimate relationship with your mate. Its easy to take it for granted.

Anonymous 2 - Married folks, especially, should be more comfortable discussing sex & intimacy. It is a gift and an important component of our unions as you stated!
We have discussed the many benefits of sex in previous posts here on the blog. its not just phyiscal. Sex has many mental and health benefits.
It is ironic that married people are scared to talk about sex. But stop having sex in your marriage, I guarantee you will end up talking about it, because there will be some problems! Researching content for our blogs, I am finding more married groups and religious groups that aren't scared to talk about sex.
Dr. Laura's site is a great resource too. Her content comes from a medical, professional and feminine perspective. So her advice is well rounded. And its discreet and private.

Quin, Co-Founder

paul-byerly said...

The Marriage Bed does not actually sell things, but we do have a list of links to those who do - all nudity free. See

Spicy Wifey said...

Thank you Paul! We hope our readers find your blog a valuable resource.


Anonymous said...

Yes to toys! Yes to being SPICY! I say yes to whatever works.

I waited until marriage to become intimate with my husband and I was in for the shock of my life. Sex was a lot more work, than I expected it to be. I thought I could just sit back and do what came naturally, but it was so difficult to relax. nohting came naturally, for me.

But thanks to seeing Dr. Laura on Oprah and listening to other couples talk, I tried a few things and its helping a LOT. My husband is OK with it because he wants me to be as comfortable as I can be with sex.

Thanks for this blog!

Spicy Wifey said...

Thanks for sharing your comments. I applaud you for waiting until marriage too! Its hard and I recently had conversations with girlfriends about this topic. But thats a completely different blog topic all by itself!!!

Yes to whatever works! I agree as long as you and your partner are comfortable and on the same page with the idea. Toys and all the other extras are to just add a twist. Ultimately, the increased satisfaction from sex will only increase the bond and connection between you and your spouse. Thats the beauty of the gift!

Quin, Co-Founder

Quin, Co-Founder